A Lesson from Nature

The flowering of Spring and the anniversary of my father’s death prompted me to publish this entry, which I originally posted on Conversation at the Edge last year.

I learned a beautiful lesson from nature a few years ago from a scene that unfolded outside my living room window during a very difficult time in my life…

In May 2003, my Dad died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. He was 56 and very healthy – a runner, cyclist and mountain climber. He just dropped dead one day and the coroner had his body for three days before they even found the cause of death. Dad was single and I’m the eldest child so the responsibility fell to me to take care of things. The shock and grief I felt were overwhelming and I had no clue what to do. The coroner said to me, “When we are ready to release his body, you will need to tell us where to send it.” That was when I realized, “Oh my God, I’m in charge here.”  I missed Dad desperately and felt helpless. But I’ve learned that you can do what you have to do.

My Gramps (dad’s dad) was devastated at the loss of his youngest child. Gramps and I have always had a special bond and we grew even closer in the months after Dad’s death and clung to each other for support. Soon after Dad’s death, Gramps’ health began to decline and he was diagnosed with ALS. In January 2004, he went into the hospital and was placed on a respirator. In February 2004, he chose to go off the respirator and died in his hospital room with about 20 of us family members standing around his bed, singing to him. I was always a Daddy’s girl and a Grandpa’s girl, so this was a double blow and I was heartbroken. And again, there was lots of stressful, practical stuff I needed to help take care of.

Meanwhile…I have three flower boxes outside my living room bay window. The two smaller flower boxes on the side are under the eaves of the house and the large center box is open to the sky. In the early fall of 2003, I planted pansies in the flower boxes. I chose pansies because past experience had taught me that they could survive our Western Oregon mild winters and would bloom again in the Spring.

But it was not a typical Winter. In addition to the usual rain, we had lots of hail and actually had snow! – several days of heavy snowfall (a big deal for us in the Willamette Valley). The pansies in the side boxes did OK since they were protected by the eaves. But the center box pansies took a pounding. They were battered by the rain and hail, and for several days, buried in snow and ice. As I struggled to deal with my first holiday season without Dad and with Gramps’ worsening health and then death, the center box pansies struggled to survive. I assumed that the side box pansies would make it till Spring but the center box pansies would have to be replaced.

Then Spring came and the pansies started to grow again. The side box pansies did fine but the center box pansies went wild! The stems grew strong and unusually tall and they had tons of blossoms – three times as many as the side box pansies! – and overflowed the flower box. People out jogging or walking their dogs would stop and comment on my amazing pansies. The flowers that had been protected by the eaves grew just fine. But the flowers that had been battered by the rain and hail and snow and seemed like they would barely survive the Winter, grew and blossomed and thrived and were strong and beautiful when the Spring came.